10 Things I Wish I Knew Before My First Relationship

 

First relationships always come with their fair share of ups and downs, and when you’re young, it’s all the more difficult to deal with because you’re still learning about yourself and your values. I had no idea what to expect when I started dating in high school, and as much as I wanted it to work out, there were some things I wish I had known beforehand. Here are 10 things I wish I knew before my first relationship.

 

1) Believe in yourself

When it comes to romance, self-confidence is a major key to success. If you feel like you’re not worth anything or that you need to improve yourself in order for someone else to love you, then don’t waste your time looking for love—you won’t find it. However, if you feel like an awesome person who has a lot of love and kindness to give, then believe in yourself and go out into the world!

 

2) Know who you are in a relationship

A relationship isn’t something you just jump into. And it certainly shouldn’t be something you rush into. Dating, in many ways, is a long process of getting to know yourself and becoming comfortable with who you are. Knowing your personality traits, learning about your likes and dislikes, knowing what makes you tick—these all take time. Once you do have a good grasp on who you are as an individual, it becomes easier to understand what type of person would complement your life. This may sound like common sense—but far too often people enter relationships without knowing themselves first.

 

3) Don’t settle for anything less than respectful treatment

Never settle for anything less than respectful treatment—even if you’re not interested in pursuing a serious relationship at that time. If your partner isn’t respectful of you, it’s likely he or she will treat other people with disrespect as well. You deserve to be treated with dignity and respect by everyone in your life. If you can't get that from someone, then you don’t need him or her in your life right now.

 

4) Accept compliments, even if you don't believe them

Compliments are great, and you should absolutely accept them even if you don’t believe them. Whether they’re true or not, compliments should be appreciated. Why? If a compliment makes you happy, then it was worth saying. Even if someone has ulterior motives for giving you a compliment (i.e., trying to get something from you), there is no harm in taking it with grace and returning one of your own. It will make both of your days better!

 

5) Always communicate your needs

Whether you’re in a relationship or planning your first date, communicating your needs is an important step in building and maintaining any relationship. Here are a few tips for doing that successfully: ˆ Be honest and direct when talking about your needs. ˆ Take responsibility for yourself when talking with others. ˆ Explain what you need to feel happy, safe, and fulfilled—and why. ˆ Say how you want to be treated by others. Always communicate your needs!

 

6) Stand up for yourself

If you’re going to be in a long-term relationship, you need to learn how to stand up for yourself and your needs. In fact, you should expect that there will come a time when your significant other says or does something that upsets you – it’s inevitable! If that time ever comes for you, it’s very important that instead of exploding (either with anger or tears), ask yourself why he/she would do something like that. Then, try to see his/her perspective by asking questions like: What is my partner trying to tell me? How can we solve our problem? This way, you’ll be able to keep your emotions from getting out of control. And even if things don’t get solved right away, at least you’ll have a better understanding about what caused him/her to act that way.

 

7) Listen when your friends tell you something is wrong

Just because you love and trust someone doesn’t mean your relationship will work out. No matter how hard it is to do, listen when your friends tell you something is wrong. If you can’t fix what they say is wrong, then maybe it’s time to consider finding someone else with whom you can build a better relationship. In fact, most people who are in unhappy relationships don’t really want their partners to change. They just want them to stop making them feel bad about themselves—and that’s not going to happen until you end things for good. So listen up! Your friends may be trying to help you save yourself from heartbreak down the road by telling you now that something isn’t right with your partner or relationship.

 

8) Take care of yourself first

It’s hard to take care of your partner if you can’t take care of yourself first. When you put all of your focus on them and neglect yourself, it creates resentment in both parties. In every relationship, it’s important to keep your individuality and work on self-improvement as a couple. While relationships should be a vehicle for growth, they shouldn’t define who you are.

 

9) Own your decisions, good or bad

If you’ve ever made a decision that turned out to be a bad one, don’t beat yourself up about it. No one makes all good decisions, but you have to accept full responsibility for your actions. Own your decisions and don’t blame others or make excuses. When you take ownership of your bad decisions, good decisions are more likely to follow.

 

10) Enjoy being single while you're waiting

Don’t get too comfortable while you’re on your own, however. Since being in a relationship is such an emotional roller coaster, enjoying being single while you wait will keep things from getting weird when (or if) you do find someone new. There are plenty of ways to enjoy yourself as a single person! Hang out with friends and family, travel—do whatever it is that brings happiness to your life, even if it doesn’t seem to involve anyone else at all.